A sea of untime

I am combative by nature.

That is a statement. It is an accurate one. Upholding that belief, I grant a number of things to me and mine: I fight. I will fight. I will always fight. By my nature, by my being, I will always force my way forward in the way I believe to be the most correct or valid.

I am not always correct, and quite a number of people have been trampled by those beliefs. A lot of people have been caught in the blasts and casualties occur. I regret those.

However, I don't regret the combat. I never regret standing for what I believe in. Unlike some people, I will listen to the other side and change my views based on sound logic and sensibility. This has happened and will happen again.

I cannot stress enough that I will not be disarmed, though. The world is a constant battle of wills, of exercising those wills and refusing to budge to things inferior and lesser to ourselves. Call it conviction. Call it having a spine. Call it willpower. Strength. Whichever suits you, call it that.

I can't understand how some people can revel in a moment, say and do things that come from the truest core of ourselves, and then back down later on account of some peers shouting down on what happened. That is weakness. The inability to stand by your own word disarms you from your opinion, from your voice. It removes your weapon in the battle of wills.

If this is vague, that's semi-intentional. It is hard to level with and respect a mind that cowers out of their rights and beliefs because an inferior mass says it is wrong. It is hard to understand selling out yourself, your records of thoughts and feelings, because a bunch of people who know nothing and mean nothing decide to cast judgement from a distance.

I gave it a few hours before I committed anything to record. I hoped the feelings would slip off and recede after a bit. I hoped that maybe after an admittedly short while I wouldn't still carry this stone in my gut. I was wrong. It sucks.