Refusal to change

Been thinking about how to approach this for a bit, so let's just get it out there.

I'm surprised I lasted 36 days. Some of them seemed nice enough, sure, but there's serious, fundamental problems and a distinct lack of leadership in that crew. If it works for them, that's fine. I harbor no grudge, but I also refuse to lash myself to that wagon if they've got no spine among them.

Any officer who goes behind a member's back to apologize for their behavior without confronting the offending member is a dickless coward, first and foremost. Second, inviting the person into the group to join is such a hugely passive-aggressive act I'm (not) surprised anyone else said anything about it. It proves you are either completely socially retarded and didn't realize it would just cause more drama, or you're a spiteful individual who again, lacks testicles to openly tell someone what you think. Any group with a "take all drama to tells / no drama allowed" is always going to be bad news: It stifles confrontation, sure, but it means any REAL problems will only ever be addressed behind closed doors. When the issue at hand involves the guild as a whole, a good leader would stick their head in and make sure things were okay.

I realize you can't force everyone to be open with their feelings. It's worked for us for so long it seems strange to think about other groups shying away from fixing the broken pieces. I guess that says a lot about our unit as a collective, though: We all realize that nonfunctional things need to be repaired. When it comes to execution-based fights and events, feelings have no place there. It sounds robotic or cold or whatever word you want to pick but the fact of the matter is no amount of happy good feelings and bottled-up issues will help beat an obstacle. If the purpose is to progress into Coil, you cannot also sternly resolve to never have anyone get chastised for their performance or get called out on being unprepared.

All of these happy-family groups have this ideal that they can do anything they want and it will be nothing but happy rainbows and sunshine all the time. Leading like that isn't possible outside of the folks racing for World Firsts, but you can also bet your ass that anyone fucking up on those runs is being clearly informed they're doing just that. We're not hardcore, but we do take pride in being competent. Do your research, formulate a plan to reach your goals. It isn't hard, but it does require more effort than showing up. When you're looking to protect those peoples' feelings, you're just damning yourself to reset.

It's the lack of an ability to potentially hurt someone's feelings that I think sums it up. I wonder what these folks' personal lives are like where you can't tell someone something negative even if it's true. There's an acceptable way to handle and bring up criticism, yes, but that's not what's happening here. This is labeling any criticism or expectation beyond below the minimum as drama or conflict and to be banished from public eye.

In the end, I refuse to be a part of the group that has their eye on PR before their members. If you have a well-performing member who crosses the line, it's up to the leaders to reel that person in. It isn't up to them to ignore it and turn a blind eye to it and then do some damage control in the wee hours of the morning and then pretend everything is fine on the surface. Ignoring potential problems doesn't make them go away. I'm not surprised I only had one person address me post-exit, but I also feel a degree of regret not that I'm out, but that the real issues are going to be swept under the rug and forgotten about.

Oh well. I'll try to console myself with my huge piles of HP and shiny gear. It's a hard road, but it's the one I walk.