The break down

Here's the blow-by-blow for what I've got, sadly I didn't have the foresight to save the later-repeated beginning of the log.

I'll be pointing out hilarity after each bit.

***
Claire
[08:58] Claire: why should I want you around anymore
when you keep saying such nasty things to me?
[08:59] Rampy: Because I'm being honest.

Let it be known that right here, Ramp is just being honest, this we are allowed to say whatever we want as long as it is the truth we perceive. This will be important later.

[08:59] Claire: and I'm done doing ANYTHING, lifting
any kind of finger for you
[08:59] Rampy: It is hard to believe in things I can't see.

[08:59] Claire: that must be a fun way to live
[08:59] Rampy: It is the only way I know how.
[09:00] Rampy: And you are sick in the head if you think Kyo didn't flip on me.

Again, this is relevant. Ramp doesn't believe in things he can't see, and if The Santa Clause told me anything it's that seeing is not believing, because otherwise there's no such thing as a million dollars. :(

Anyhoo, the important part here is that we are sick in the head if we don't think Kyo flipped out when he said

Kyo: Sorry?
Kyo: Lord.

And that was literally it. Look at the seething hatred bristling from those eleven characters.


[09:02] Rampy: You refuse to believe what I'm saying because you are
biased and because anything you don't believe in is obviously wrong.

Again, this is important that Ramp condemns people for refusing to think they are wrong.

[09:01] Claire: yep that's exactly it
[09:02] Rampy: Yes, it is. And it has happened for a long time.
[09:02] Rampy: And I suck it up and mutter an apology to go on.

Admitting the apologies post-Ramp-blow-up were never genuine. Something to think on.

Here comes the painful bits.


[09:03]Claire: you know who you've become? Kohra

Okay, freezeframe. Kohra, for all of those people who read my blog and aren't Nightblades (so, all zero of you) Kohra was a transgenderish zoophiliac who left the shell after Mai kicked it. It caused a lot of stress and drama for all of us, some more than others, and generally always disagreed very loudly whenever that it disagreed, which was often. One of my last memories of incident was reading a snippet of its livejournal wherein it said that Claire was the mastermind and the rest of us were brainwashed. The comparison to just saying that Claire is a dictator and keeping her favorites happy rings very similarly, especially when I got called "the muscle" when I logged on this morning. Okay, resume.

[09:03] Claire: only, I regretted it when Kohra left
[09:03] Rampy: Fuck you
[09:04] Rampy: How dare you compare me to that piece of shit
[09:04] Rampy: How fucking dare you

Breaking in to go back to those first couple quotes. Here we have a TRUTHFUL and ACCURATE comparison in how he's reacting to how Kohra reacted, and this is a terrible horrible lie in Ramp's mind. It gets better.

[09:04] Claire: you're abusive, you're sick in the
head, and you're fucked up beyond redemption
[09:04] Rampy: h'4rbgouewrybtventh9
[09:04] Rampy: 6htye
[09:04] Rampy: 'rt
[09:04] Rampy: j
[09:04] Rampy: 4

This is actually one of mine. As far as I know, no one expressed rage at keys like this until I drunkenly mashed the keyboard. I'd never seen it in the shell, anyway, so... You're welcome.

I fibbed. Give it back, you're not allowed to use it anymore.

[09:04] Rampy: FUCK
[09:04] Rampy: YOU

Here we have classic Ramp Annunciation with page breaks and everything.

[09:04] Claire: and you'll know that and understand
that every moment you're alone
[09:04] Claire: it'll whisper to you in the night

I'm so proud of her.

[09:04] Rampy: You know who is sick in the head?
[09:04] Rampy: You are

no u

[09:04] Claire: yep lol I totally am


[09:05] Rampy: How fucking dare you, you sick bitch
[09:05] Rampy: You are fucking wrong for this
[09:05] Rampy: Do you take pleasure in torturing me?
[09:05] Rampy: Becuase you are doing a fantastic job.
[09:05] Rampy: You are a sick human being.

Okay, reel back a little. Apparently, Ramp flipping shit on the shell last night over what really was just a miscommunication is fine and dandy. We'll touch on that later. HOWEVER, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. Accurately pointing out he's acting just like Kohra did on its way out? NO. BIG NO. We are now sick for saying they acted the same way. And this is torture. Wigging out on his entire family and friends and refusing to redact a HURTFUL and MEAN statement made on someone's insecurities is fine, but what is being said by Claire here is sick and demented torture-caliber mindrape.


[09:06] Rampy: How do you live with yourself?

Typical Ramp response to whatever caused his indignation.

Here comes I think my favorite part.


[09:07] Rampy: If you've hated me for so long, why keep stringing me along?

[09:07] Claire: Because I didn't hate you Ramp
[09:07] Rampy: Yes you do
[09:07] Claire: I thought there was good in YOU too
[09:07] Rampy: I see your hatred, right here

Okay. Let's recap here, because this is the best bookend to a fight ever.

Kyo: Words
Ramp: YOU ALL SAW IT HE JUMPED ON ME FUCK YOU
Everyone: Nope.
Ramp: FUCK YOU BIASED DICTATORS

That's the abridged version of Tuesday night. Here's the abridged version of Wednesday morning.

Ramp: YOU HATE ME
Claire: Nope.
Ramp: YES YOU DO I CAN SEE IT

This bears some special attention. We have Ramp here embodying the very same issue he took such vehemence with last night, i.e. the insisting of someone else's feelings. Ramp insists he was super duper calm during the thing until Claire "came at him." Claire insists he overreacted to Kyo's question and comment, which is the opinion of the entire shell, AND KYO HIMSELF has mentioned that he was just brushing off what sounded like Ramp's ego bristling. Ramp denies Kyo's statement, denies our statements, and continues to insist what everyone else was feeling at the time. Here, Ramp outright denies Claire's, well, outright denial, insisting that it must be hatred. Instead of listening. Brilliant.


[09:07] Claire: I don't even hate you
[09:08] Claire: you're not worth my hatred
[09:08] Rampy: Yes, you do, I see the hatred right here, it is undeniable

Again with the thing doing the stuff.


[09:16] Rampy: I might have been able to eventually make a heart-felt
apology, until the Kohra thing.
[09:16] Rampy: I'm in shock, honestly

As you put it, she was just being honest.


[09:19] Rampy: I was calm with Kyo, and you came at me.
[09:19] Claire: "Alby made me do it"
[09:19] Claire: keep telling yourself that Ramp, I'm
sure it's a lot of comfort to you
[09:19] Rampy: It isn't a comfort, it is the truth.

Huh.


[09:20] Rampy: I really wish I had a screenshot of it, so you could
read it word for word again.

>we didn't have a copy of that shit the moment after it happened and we didn't discuss it for a while while being incredulous someone could be such a child over things

[09:21] Claire: We realized you overreacted to Kyo trying to figure out if you were wearing a
sorcerer's ring then going "Lord." as if that's flipping shit
[09:21] Rampy: He did. I was calm, I didn't provoke a reaction like that.
[09:21] Claire: keep telling yourself that Ramp
[09:21] Claire: I'm sure it's a comfort
[09:22] Rampy: You can stop that anytime.
[09:22] Rampy: I thrive on truth, I don't comfort myself with lies.

That's literally the log transcript. Ramp made a snide comment about "would I wear X and Y in an idle set?" and Kyo went "Sorry? Lord." That's the flipping out that cued all of this.

Special acknowledgment for that last line. Just let that sink in.


[09:31] Rampy: I never thought you'd be the person to drive me from the game.
[09:31] Rampy: I figured if it would have ever happened, it would have
been Lyall.

I'm flattered, really. I would have loved to be that guy for you, actually, but you're too much of a coward to ever really come at me. Shame. I can do so much worse than Claire can.


[09:37] Rampy: I suppose I shouldn't have excepted this to be any
different. Rejected by everyone else, why should I have thought my
"friends" would be any different?

I love the quotes.

[09:37] Claire: y'know, if everyone's rejecting you,
it's probably your fault since you're the common denominator in all of
those relationships
[09:38] Rampy: That's obvious. And as I said, why should I have
expected otherwise here?

[09:38] Claire: well, don't act like a shithead and
maybe you won't get rejected
[09:38] Rampy: Don't provoke me, and I won't act like a shithead.
[09:38] Claire: clearly it's my fault for provoking you lol

Here we have an awesome circle of implying implications, self-pity and then self-justification.

[09:39] Claire:"baby, why you gotta make me hit you?"
[09:39] Rampy: Yes. You, Claire, provoked me yesterday.
[09:39] Claire: and you wonder why I say you're abusive
[09:39] Claire: my fault! Totally mine lol


[09:39] Rampy: You yelled at me for doing something I didn't do, then
went on the offensive when I defended myself.

I'll reiterate what Claire said in the log here, because typing it is worth it.

You cannot justify this sort of behavior to yourself. "You asked for it" is never a reason. No court in the world will let someone slide on murder because he had it coming. You are not allowed to reason away whatever you like because someone egged you on. That's just you being gullible, easily manipulated or poorly impulsive. All three, or more.

That wraps up the goodie bits from the log I've got, sadly. Now, some more commentary.

I did enjoy being called the "muscle" when I got on. This is right before he blacklisted me, mind you, so I was reading the log when he ran away. So now he's not just like Kohra for how he's leaving the shell, but he's just like Bornfield sniveling behind curtains about my presence as a lapdog. I'm not errand boy. I'm a foul-mouthed harbinger of death and justice, in that order if need be. I think Ramp knows deep down he doesn't have a leg to stand on near me, hence the immediate and silent disappearance. Of course he kept on checking my blog, and talking to MY friend about us, and of course I know everything that's ever been said because hey, this isn't my first rodeo or anything.

It takes a special kind of fucked up to do what's been done here and leave thinking this was a victory or that he "won" or was right. It takes a bigger fool than I realized he was to throw away every one of us over something as silly as two words. But hey, this has obviously been brewing a long time.

What I find reprehensible is that, while being disappointed in this shell and our systems for a long time (I'd wager since myself and Mai got our Empyreans? About there, probably when Bornfield was unfortunately granted one ahead of everyone else.) he sure took advantage of it. He threw a fit when he wasn't given a weapon, he threw a fit when we told him to work a little bit for it, and he sure kept his mouth shut as long as it benefited him. Even after Mai had to instruct him how to even fucking use it, because it again takes a special kind of fool to not even know how to gear something that they allegedly really extra super want. I regret ever pointing out that the Greatsword trumped the hell out of the scythe because then it would have been a non-issue since he'd have never been considered for it, ever.

I think I know what I find the most hurtful part of all of this, though. I did like Ramp, despite all of his constant assertion otherwise. Unlike Ramp, though, I never considered this to be the only outcome. He said himself he always figured it'd be me, afterall. I wanted to believe that this WASN'T the only way it would go down.

Disappointing all the same. You know my take on all of this, though. You turned your back on us and apparently hate us and strung us along despite resenting the fuck out of us and our leadership. You kept your trap shut and ate whatever you could while cursing us for pissing on you and you being the least favorite.

Something worth pointing out: No one wanted to help you over shit just like this. Once hands get bit, you don't forget the teeth. You are abusive and completely non apologetic about it, which is the worst kind of way for a mongrel to be. Those kinds of animals just get put down because no amount of love or care will teach them not to bite the hand that feeds them. You are dumber than an animal about this sort of thing.

Also another thing: That whole "I hate Kyo I wish he never came back?" This is fucking hilarious coming from you. As one of the only other people to have been kicked from the shell and welcomed back, you are very very pathetic for thinking that. People get second chances; in your case they get eighth and ninth chances, if not a dozenth. For YOU of all people to say such a thing over someone losing their temper and storming off? You are the worst kind of hypocrite. I'm sure you can justify why you are different though, or why Kyo is worse. Keep deluding yourself.

They say we hate those things that are like us. It's a famed psychological concept; we hate what we are before we become them. I hate cheaters and botters and recently weighed myself against those I've crucified for their positions and morals on my road to obtaining things; You hate Kohra for abusing trust and lying and being twofaced. While I don't think you have fucked any dogs, there are enough similarities there for the line to be drawn. You are jealous, in my opinion, of Kyo's role in the shell, how he was welcomed, how his Empyrean got done before yours. You felt like you were below him on the totem pole too. If anyone ever placed a totem pole it was only in your mind.

This'll all be in the backs of our minds in a week, if that. We lost a player, sure, but nothing vital. We'll soldier on, one more piece of trash for the Failure pile, but we're better than that, and no one person will ever really make or break this group. You, though. You get to replace your NB mousepad and stop drinking from your NB beerstein and try to refund your ticket for NBcon. You get to wash or throw away the NBcon shirts. You get to return to what you call a life pre-Nightblades. Just the way you always wanted it. Rampagesama versus the World.

I pity you, in the most literal term. I do not sympathize. I do not empathize. I feel bad for you.