Man, time really flies by. I wasn't even doing anything especially productive: More of the Troll heroics, a single Tol Borad (which was fucking awesome, turns out turtling up at a single node makes the fight un-loseable if you're defending) and then some menial quests to grind rep. And now it's way too late at night.
Drama was the theme of the night, it seemed. Some more flare-ups of the Diggs thing boiled over into tells in FFXI. I actually ended up holding something like five or six different conversations on the matter, which was effing weird. Of course, during this period there was a new batch of the old venom brewing at the event I was missing because of my stupid .dat problem. I've got a good deal of survivor's guilt over that; I know I could have (potentially) positively affected the incident tonight, or at least lessened the blow.
Yes, I know I could have maybe. Shh.
It sucks. It's a stupid incident that should have been avoided five ways, and I know I could have helped. See, I kind of hate Tira and Athina (fucking misspelling). However, I'm usually pretty careful around people I hate. I would have been snarky, yeah, but I might have had better luck with not outright blowing stuff up.
I think part of the problem is that Kyo doesn't quite acknowledge that some of us, myself at least included, really DO hate people like that. It's a strong word, but Tira has zero worth given how he's treated his "friends" and Athina is a fucking teenager who doesn't care what happens as long as she's getting what she wants. Scum. Part of the problem is that Kyo won't let go of them for whatever reason. 'Lita is unfortunately related by blood, but she's enabling that sort of behavior by undoubtedly working on her sister's weapon.
I kind of hate it. I dislike that this sludge spills over into my real world and poisons the evening, probably going to poison a couple of days from here on out, too. That's not to say I hate the people involved, mind you. I just hate that there's a human element here I am unable to tend to, or control, or manage. I'm not much of a control freak until things are impossible to control. That's when my hair starts getting torn out.
File check continues to not find anything. I'm going to have to start tearing out .dats and making the game realize shit's broken. I do not particularly look forward to this. I'll need to clarify a few things from Mai first.
Ugh. This whole thing, all of this bullshit, makes me want to tear off my skin for how grimy I feel at the end of the day. First I pollute my linkshell by making a bunch of drama by picking a fight with the guy with the tiniest penis, then all of this unpleasantness. There's a creeping bit of unease in me and I don't like it one bit.
I'm also tired of seeing that fucking cat out of the corner of my eye. I don't even recognize it.
Time to go to sleep. Ugh, poison. I picked a great week to quit drinking. Well, to quit abusing alcohol, really. Minor but distinct difference.
No comments:
Post a Comment